Yes, the old site will be no more this week. Yahoo is shutting down their free web hosting service. Fortunately this new and much improved version is here to take its place. I will miss that old site, as big as a pain in the ass as it became to edit, it was my first attempt at web site design and was visited by over 25,000 crapanals haters over its lifetime. Not too fucking bad.
The anti-crapnals site will continue here and on my 2 back-up boards as well. I will continue to post and mock the pathetic crapnals for as long as those fucking losers are embarrassing Arizona by their presence.
And yes they are a bunch of pathetic fucking losers despite the undeserved win they stole tonight. They are a total fucking joke, and were and are the most pathetic fucking joke of a team ever to sneak into a super bowl....something that will never fucking happen again.
So fuck you crapnals and GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
anti-crapnals blast from the past
Yahoo is getting rid of all their free web sites which means my awesome and much loved original anti crapnals web site will soon be gone. In honor of my original site, here are a few of my original old posts dating back 10 years. The crapnals were losers then and are fucking losers now.
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1-10-99: THE PATHETIC, INEPT, LOSER CRUDS ARE DOMINATED BY THE VIKINGS!!!!
It was a pleasure watching the crudinals lose BIG, 41-21, to the Vikings. This proves that a) the crudinals making it to the playoffs was a fluke and b) that the cruds getting by (with the refs help) the MIGHTY COWBOYS was an even bigger fluke!!! The refs blew a few calls in the first half (7 calls in one series (what the hell was that?) but recovered and called the 2nd half fairly well. Looks like the cruds need to call Rotor-Rooter. They need a NEW PLUMMER!!!
You had to love the 1st quarter stats....-1 total yards for the pathetic crudinals!!!!! The cruds had no business even being on the field with the Vikings and the Vikings proved that today!!! The cruds got stomped just as they have been getting stomped all year!!!!!!!
As for a last week being a so-called "changing of the guard"....FORGET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The COWBOYS have beaten the crudinals in 17 of their last 19 meetings and today's loss by the cruds further proves that the COWBOYS ARE the best damn team in football!!!!!!!!!!!! The cruds aren't even in their league!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4-10-99: The PATHETIC crudinals are losing players left and right and are about to lose their stadium!!!
Players are deserting the loser, pathetic, sinking crudinals like rats from a sinking ship. First Brown then Miller did the right thing and left the pathetic crudinals for teams that actually might have a future. I can't wait to see who leaves the inept crudinals next!!!!! This bunch of pathetic losers will do nothing next year and will be lucky to win ANYTHING!!!!!!!
8-1-99: No stadium for the pathetic crudinals; Centers joins Brown and Miller and leaves the inept crudinals; Houston shows interest in the crudinals!!!!
Mesa did the right thing and voted down the crudinals stadium proposal by a HUGE margin. The cruds should realize now that they are NOT wanted in Arizona and will never get a stadium here. Houston continues to show interest in having the crudinals move there (why they are interested is anybody's guess) but they are welcome to the crudinals. Centers left the crudinals which, with the loss of Brown and Miller, makes even a 2-14 season optomistic. Once again the pathetic, inept crudinals will be the doormat of the NFL!!!!!!
8-18-99: Denver destroys the pathetic crudinals!!!!.... Crudinal cited in crash...looks like they drive as poorly as they play!!!!!!
Denver did a fantastic job of destroying the crudinals and provided further proof that the inept crudinals are the world's WORST team!!! Denver totally destroyed the crudinals 38-7 and in the process made the cruds look like the total losers they are. Although I have no love for the Broncs, I did enjoy watching them DESTROY the loser crudinals!!!!!
The crudinals also showed they drive as poorly as they play!!!! Three of them were hurt in a roll-over accident near Flagstaff this week. The fools were attempting to drive 75 during a mountain thunderstorm. Any of us who have lived in Flagstaff know that is a totally stupid thing to do. The driver of the car was cited today for DRIVING TOO FAST FOR THE CONDITIONS OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!! It's a shame that one almost lost an arm due to their lack of brains, but they get no sympathy from me as they brought this accident upon themselves. I'm just glad those fools didn't hit another car and injure anybody else!!!!!
The pathetic crudinals get VERY LUCKY against the CLEARLY dominant Eagles...and a possibly great rumor....
The totally inept, pathetic crudinals gat very lucky when they managed, by some miracle to sneak past the CLEARLY DOMINANT eagles today. The Eagles owned the pathetic crudinals for the entire game but somehow, probably with the help of the refs, the crudinals managed to get probably one of their last wins of the season. At best the inept crudinals will probably get 2 or 3 wins for the season and they will get their butts kicked by the awesome COWBOYS who did a beautiful job today, DESPITE the refs attempt to deny them the win with a pathetic call during the last 12 seconds of the game.....heard, actually read a GREAT rumor on the net the other day. It was written that bumbling bill bidwrong sold his interest in the crudianls to the guy in Houston and that they would be moving....I am trying my best to get this confirmed......See you next week to talk about the crudinals next pathetic loss!!!!!!!!!!
GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUTURE SUPER BOWL XXXIV CHAMPIONS AND THE BEST DAMN TEAM IN THE NFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO CRUDINALS ........RIGHT TO HOUSTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T WANT YOU IN PHOENIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pathetic, inept crudinals, led by jake the fake get destroyed by the Dolphins.....
The inept cruds were totally dominated today by the Dolphins. Jake the fake (a.k.a Jake the groper) and the inept cruds were destroyed by the much more talented Dolphins. Jake the fake was picked off several times and attempted a late comeback who's failure showed us that last week's win was nothing but a fluke. This makes them 1-1. Next weeks upcoming butt-kicking by the Niners will set them at 1-2 on route to a probable finish of 2-14 at best!!!!!!!! Nothing makes for a perfect weekend like watching the crudinals lose and the AWESOME COWBOYS win!!!!!!!!!
THE COWBOYS RULE!!!!!!!!!!
GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUTURE SUPER BOWL XXXIV CHAMPIONS AND THE BEST DAMN TEAM IN THE NFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO CRUDINALS ........RIGHT TO HOUSTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T WANT YOU IN PHOENIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Niners totally destroy the pathetic cruds on national TV!!!!!!!!! What a great day for all crudinals haters!!!!!!!!!....
The loser cruds were royally embarrassed by the Niners on national TV today as the Niners taught the crudinals, led by Jake "the Fake" Dumber, how real football is played. The crudinals were destroyed 24-10 and because of their exposure on National TV, everybody knows what a bunch of losers they really are. This was the most enjoyable game on TV all weekend. The crudinals looked so bad that even a pop-warner team could easily beat them!!!!!! It will only get better next week when they crawl into Dallas and get KILLED by the AWESOME, SUPER BOWL BOUND COWBOYS!!!!!!!! The pathetic cruds are now 1-2 and on the way to a 1-15 season!!!!!! YOU gotta love it!!!!!!!!!
THE COWBOYS RULE!!!!!!!!!!
GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUTURE SUPER BOWL XXXIV CHAMPIONS AND THE BEST DAMN TEAM IN THE NFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO CRUDINALS ........RIGHT TO HOUSTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T WANT YOU IN PHOENIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(10-3-99): What a beautiful day!!!!!! The cowboys prove that the crudinals "win" last year was a fluke and that the pathetic crudinals don't even belong in the NFL!!!!!!
You have to love it....COWBOYS 35 Pathetic, loser crudinals 7!!!!!!! The inept crudinals were lucky not to lose 42-0 ore even 56-0. The AWESOME SUPER BOWL BOUND COWBOYS totally dominated them in every way and in every part of the game, just as the Cowboys always do!!!!! Jake "the Joke" Dumber was totally helpless against the vastly superior COWBOYS!!!!!! The crudinals are clearly the worst team in the NFL and have shown that last seasons "win" was nothing more than a fluke combined with the help of the refs. The cruds are headed for a 1-15 season!!!! I had the pleasure of watching this game while up in Flagstaff for NAU's homecoming. There were a ton of COWBOYS fans around but there wasn't a crudinals fan to be seen. This further proves that ARIZONA is the COWBOYS second home!!!!!!!!!!! Now of course the cruds "fans" on the newsgroups will try to say that the cruds "injuries" cost them the game. I'm sure that a lot of those "injuries" were brought on by not wanting to be embarrassed at today's game. The cruds would've lost with or without the missing players so the "injury defense" is useless. The game was mostly well called. This leaves only one reason for the cruds BEAUTIFUL LOSS.....THE PATHETIC CRUDINALS SUCK.......AND THE COWBOYS RULE!!!!!!!!!
THE COWBOYS RULE!!!!!!!!!!
GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUTURE SUPER BOWL XXXIV CHAMPIONS AND THE BEST DAMN TEAM IN THE NFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO CRUDINALS ........RIGHT TO HOUSTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T WANT YOU IN PHOENIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(10-23-99): The Redskins DOMINATE the pathetic crudinals 24-10!!! What a beautiful game!!!!
The Washington Redskins totally destroyed the pathetic, inept, loser crudinals 24-10 last Sunday. Some my blame the loss of Jake "the Fake/Joke" Dumber for the loss, but his presence is really not important to the team. They lose equally well with and without him. This is a team that is going NOWHERE but down and hopefully to Los Angeles. They are a pathetic joke and an embarrassment to Arizona. They are off this weekend which will give them a chance to think about what a total bunch of losers they really are!!!!!
THE COWBOYS RULE!!!!!!!!!!
GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUTURE SUPER BOWL XXXIV CHAMPIONS AND THE BEST DAMN TEAM IN THE NFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO CRUDINALS ........RIGHT TO HOUSTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T WANT YOU IN PHOENIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(11-21-99): COWBOYS SCREWED BY REFS, pathetic crudnials sneak away with VERY lucky "win"!!!!
The cruds deserve NO credit for this one. The COWBOYS were robbed of their victory. As I and ALL those who watched the game know, this one goes down with an asterisk next to it. Attached to the asterisk is a note that should read, "The COWBOYS won this one but were cheated of the win by the referees that called back a perfectly good TD and changed their call on a well caught pass!!!!" This is the truth about the game. Don't let Tobins lies and attempts to take credit for the win fool you. The cruds just happened to be there to have the refs hand them the game. The AWESOME COWBOYS totally dominated the pathetic inept crudinals. SMITH and the rest of the SUPER BOWL bound COWBOYS were unstoppable!!!!! Of course this game makes no difference as the COWBOYS will be in the SUPER BOWL and the crudinals will be at home crying with their fans as usual!!!!!!!!!
THE COWBOYS RULE!!!!!!!!!!
GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUTURE SUPER BOWL XXXIV CHAMPIONS AND THE BEST DAMN TEAM IN THE NFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO CRUDINALS ........RIGHT TO HOUSTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE DON'T WANT YOU IN PHOENIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(1-9-00): YES!! The pathetic crudinals are hosed by the Packers!!!!!!
The pathetic, inept, crudinals, already removed from the playoffs (even David Boston's daddy couldn't save them), as usual, were throughly destroyed by the Packers!!!!! This game was a pleasure to watch. It was a shame that the packers couldn't have run the score up even higher than they did!!!!!! Jake "The Fake" aka "The rapest" aka "The Joke" Dumber was useless as usual!!!!!!!! This crudinals team deserves the title "WORST TEAM OF THE MILLENNIUM" which I will officially bestow upon them next year on January 1, 2001. Already the pathetic crudinals are losing players who now realize that they are headed nowhere but down with the crudinals. Rice is the first to bolt and the watch is on to see who leaves next!!!!!!
(1-15-00): Yippie...the crudinals may soon become the San Antonio Crudinals!!!!!
The pathetic crudinals may be out of here. It has been confirmed that those inept losers have been offered the use of the Alamo Dome for free! Let's hope they say yes and get out of our fine state ASAP!!!!!! I and all but 1 or 2 people in Arizona will be happy to help them pack and load their moving vans!!!!!!!! Let's say good riddance to a bunch of garbage and encourage those loser crudinals to LEAVE!!!!!!!!!
crapnals jokes from the old site
Crudinal's Quotes and Jokes
New jokes (9-15-03)
Once in a while the Arizona Republic, our local rag, actually prints the truth about the cruds. The following excerpts are from the Wednesday, December 30, 1998 sports section (page 2). They're from a section called You Don't Say.
- T.J Simers, Los Angeles Times: On the bright side, there's still a chance Paul Tagliabue will wake up, use his power as commissioner, and declare the Arizona Cardinals out of the playoffs to protect the integrity of the National Football League.
- David Moore, Dallas Morning News: ...it's difficult to imagine that Dallas has any doubts about its ability to beat Arizona...Dallas has put the Cardinals in their losing place 16 of the past 17 times they have met.
- Seen in a local car dealership: "Will the woman who left her 12 kids at Sun Devil Stadium, please pick them up. They are beating the Cardinals 37-0!
- It was a very tight Christmas for one family. The father told his small son that he could only have one small gift. The little boy said, "I want a Mickey Mouse hat." That year he got the hat he wanted.
The next year was again very bad and the child was told that he could only choose one gift. The little boy said, "I want a Mickey Mouse shirt." He got the shirt
The third year was much better. The father told his son that Christmas that he could
have whatever he wanted. The excited little boy shouted, "I want a Mickey Mouse outfit
So his dad bought him the Arizona Cardinals!
This one was sent to me by BlackEye:
- THERE'S A NEW FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM CAKE IN ARIZONA AND CUSTOMERS LOVE IT! TRY IT TODAY! INTRODUCING......
JAKE THE FRUIT CAKE
Special thanks to Gabriel O. for sending in this great group of new jokes!!!!
CARDINALS SCHEDULE FOR 2004
08/29: Spanish-American War Vets
09/05: Northeastern Idaho Junior College
09/12: Phoenix Blind Academy
09/19: St. Wilgefortis Boys Choir
09/26: Cub Scout Troop #46875
10/03: DeKalb High School
10/10: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (Columbus Day special)
10/17: Korean Amputees
10/24: Girl Scout Troop #379721
10/31: Cincinnati Bengals
11/07: Wisconsin School For The Deaf
11/14: Cumberland (team which once lost to Georgia Tech 222-0)
11/25: Dallas Cowboys (Thanksgiving game)
12/05: Clinton Rosette Middle School
12/12: Marmion Academy
12/19: Pop-Warner Team (TBA)
RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR
1. When playing Girl Scouts, Cardinals must not eat their cookies.
2. When playing the blind academy, Cardinals must not hide the football under their jerseys.
RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR
1. A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line, for all you Cardinal fans who've forgotten what this is) is still worth 6 points.
2. The Cardinals will be allowed 47 men on the field at all times.
3. The Cardinals will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time during the course of the game.
4. The Cardinals will be allowed 38 time-outs per quarter.
5. The Cardinals will be awarded a first down with each gain of 3 yards or more.
NAME CHANGE: The Cardinals will be renamed the Losersville Tampons, since
they are good for only one period and have no second string. Their website
has been discontinued, since they will never put three W's together.
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CARDINALS JOKES
Two boys were playing football in a Dallas area park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a plank of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.
"Cowboys Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," she starts writing in her notebook.
"But I'm not a Cowboys fan," the boy replies.
"Redskins Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack," the reporter starts again.
"I'm not a Redskins fan either," the boy says. "I'm a Cardinals fan."
The reporter writes on a new sheet in her notebook: "Redneck Bastard Kills Family Pet."
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There were three football fans walking towards the Football Hall of Fame when all of a sudden one of them noticed a leg sticking out of the bushes. They moved closer and and noticed that it was a dead naked woman. The Cowboys fan took off his cap and set it on her right breast, the Giants fan took off his hat and set it on her left breast, and the Cardinals fan took off his hat and set it on her groin area. Shortly after that the police showed up and the sherriff started his inspection. He picked up the Cowboys cap and put it back down and took notes. Then he looked under the Giants cap and put it back down and took notes. Then the sherriff looked under the Cardinals cap and put it back down again and again. The Cardinals fan got upset and asked the sherriff "Why keep looking under my cap?" The sherriff said "Every time I see a Cardinals cap I expect to see an idiot's hair!"
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Q: Why doesn't Tucson have an NFL team?
A: Because then Phoenix would want one too!
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Quarterback Jake Plummer died after living a full life. When he got to
heaven, God started showing him around. They came to a modest little house
with a faded Cardinals flag in the window.
"This is your special house, Jake," said God. "This is very special; not
everyone gets a house up here." Brett felt special, indeed, and walked up to
his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the
corner. It was a Texas-sized 150-story mansion with a silver and blue
sidewalk, a 2750-foot tall flagpole with an enormous Cowboy logo flag, and a
silver star in every window.
Jake looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I
have a question. I was an All-Pro Quarterback, I won a Super Bowl, and I
even went to the Hall of Fame."
God said, "So, what do you want to know, Jake?"
Jake said, "Why does Troy Aikman get a better house than me?"
God chuckled and said, "Jake, that's not Troy Aikman's house, it's mine."
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Q: Why do Cardinals fans go to Sun Devil Stadium when there is a tornado
warning?
A: Because there are no touchdowns there!
Q: What is the difference between shredded wheat and the Arizona Cardinals?
A: Shredded wheat belongs in a bowl!
Q: How many Arizona Cardinals does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which they all show up!
The official crudinals theme song - from my original site
The Official Crudinals Theme Song!
(Sung to the Tune: “I Should’ve Been a Cowboy” By Toby Keith
I bet you'll never hear Ol' Jerry Jones Say,
"Hey Plummer, would you ever consider signing today?
Move to Dallas, would you play for me?
If I ask you twice and beg you 'pretty please'?"
He'd have said, "yes" in a New York minute
Jerry never had the thought, the Boys plan to win it.
The Boys can't miss, they'll win it going away.
The cruds are nothing but a big disgrace.....
The cruds wish they were Cowboys!
They should've learned to pass and rush.
Wearing those blue stars,
going with their team to the SUPER BOWL!
Breaking the other teams' hearts
just like Emmit and Troy
Playing in those championship games,
Oh, they wish they were Cowboys!
They might've had a sponsor with a famous name
Spending his money, using their names.
Instead the sponsors treat them like strangers
They give their money to those Dallas Wranglers....
"Go further west you cruds", That's what they're being told.
Phoenix doesn't want you, you play like mold.
Losing every game beneath the desert stars.
The Cruds stink so bad, you can smell them on Mars!
The cruds wish they were Cowboys!
They should've learned to pass and rush.
Wearing those blue stars,
Going with their team to the SUPER BOWL!
Breaking other team's hearts,
just like Emmit and Troy.
Playing in those championship games,
Oh, they wish they were Cowboys!
BRIDGE
The cruds wish they were Cowboys!
They should've learned to pass and rush.
Wearing those blue stars,
Going with their team to the SUPER BOWL!
Breaking other team's hearts,
just like Emmit and Troy.
Playing in those championship games,
Oh, they wish they were Cowboys!
Yeah, They'll never be Cowboys!
They'll never be Cowboys!
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